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January 27, 2003
Merchandising!

Order today! Free gift with every order. (* See end for details.)

Bobble-Headed Bush Bank (New!)
It wriggles and squeals with excitement over money and guns! Get yours while supplies last. Don't be the last rich kid on the block who doesn't have a pocket full of political influence! (Runs on beer.) (Note: Please store carefully as this toy tends to go AWOL. Does not work weekends, holidays, or evenings.)

Cheney Change Bank (An oldie but still a favorite!)
There's no "change" in this classic item! If the pumping mechanism slows down, squirt oil at it and watch it go! (Note: This popular toy from many years ago has been refurbished, but offers identical rhetorical output!) (Batteries required.)

Careful Colin (With accessories)
This action toy features a right-leaning action figure, a tightrope, and a balancing pole loaded at both ends! Polish up his medals, set him in motion, and watch him as he edges precariously across the narrow path! (Note: Medals, pole, and tightrope included. Non-smiling figure.)

Krafty Karl
Very active action figure, but you'll rarely catch him at it. (Note: This figure is a critical accessory to the Bobble-Headed Bush Bank as the bank does not function properly on its own.)

Battling Ashcroft
A perfect companion to the Bobble-Headed Bush Bank with an identical, right-leaning base.

Rude Rumsfeld
You've seen this one in action, so you know the knee-jerk reactions come fast and furious! (Note: May cause problems for those addicted to diplomacy.)


Limited releases

Repetition Reynolds
Paper dolls are inexplicably fashionable in some circles. This one is busy-busy but results are sometimes confusing for the clear-minded and eventually each play-session has a bland familiarity. Occasionally amusing. (Note: Keyboard and attitude included.)

Swaggering Sullivan
Complete with wind-up mechanism that sends this plastic toy on a zigzag path crashing into most obstacles! Grandstands, poses, and makes noise! (Warning: This toy comes with an occasional flash of sanity. Approach cautiously.)


FIRE SALE!

All models must go! No offer refused, no matter how unreasonable! (No returns, no refunds)

Lathering Limbaugh
Soap on a rope that foams at the mouth. Not recommended for infants, toddlers, pre-teens, teenagers, or adults. Contains squeaker mechanism that makes a lot of noise to no productive purpose. (Note: This is not an action figure. Unusual aroma.)

Edsel Lott
Not really gone, and not quite forgotten. Vintage, older model, showing signs of wear. (Note: Don't be fooled! This is the original!)

Osama bin Who?
No longer in vogue. Limited popularity. Difficult to locate and no toy surprise.


* Free with every order!

Problematic Pitt
This one never quite got going, folks, we're not sure why, but we've been having a heckuva time getting rid of it. (Note: Overstocked. Extras available for no additional charge. Will ship anywhere.)


Caveats and disclaimers

Most dolls and action figures come with inseparable baggage. Banks do not return money, so make deposits with caution. Seller not liable for any damage incurred. No warranties available. Sense of humor required.

Posted by AnneZook at 12:46 PM


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