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March 05, 2004
Here we go again

To the lazy bum in search of "best democracy money can buy the cliff notes" let me advise you to read the book itself. Firstly, I abominate Cliff's Notes (unless they're saving you from James Joyce or Hemmingway), and secondly the book is an easy read. Slacker.

I think there's a certain redundancy in searching for "psycho goes mad" but apparently not everyone agrees.

I regret I do not know the "meaning of national pig day" and I'm scratching my head over what the person searching "rudeness sex" was really looking for.

I almost never write about sex. I find it bizzare that so many searchers after information on the topic wind up here.

For instance, I don't know anything about "porn in England" although I do remember my amusement, walking down a London street, when I saw my first, "sex shoppe."

Someone typed "nytimes if you want to totally change the healthcare system i m not your guy" and wound up on my blog, so let's be clear. I'm not anyone's guy.

I don't deny anyone's right to believe "the battered women's movement has outlived it usefulness" but I'd advise you not to hang around here.

Some ghoul was looking for "pictures of eva braun's dead body." No pictures. No autographs. No dead bodies. Move along.

On the other hand, someone was looking for "nekkid man" and while I don't have one to spare, I applaud the thought.

There are no "bobble headed rush limbaugh dolls" to be found on this site. In any case, one would be redundant.

I don't understand it, but someone seems to have wanted "free stories from the national enquirer" and came to my site in expectation of finding them. Not.

Someone searched "arm or footstep or negotiation or cancers or conservatism" and once again I'm going nuts trying to figure out what they really wanted to find.

And I'd like to object to my site being pulled, several times, on a search for "egotistical." I'm not. Not as much as I sound, anyhow.

"zev chafets moron" - I can't think of much to add to that, I guess.

I don't have any "navy ncis goodies" but I do very much enjoy the show.

I don't even understand what "nutball pot" means.

I don't understand what "andy grove speech war for eyeballs" is about, either.

And what does "type in saying and say it back" mean?

Someone was looking for "m is for maple syrup." When I posted an entirely irrelevant blather under the title of "Maple Syrup Day" I had no idea it would stir up any interest but there were no less than seven searchers after information on maple syrup who found themselves at my site. I also had to delete and ban around ten comment spammers from that one post.

Today is "Multiple Personality Day" but I was afraid of the hits I'd get, using that as a post title, so I didn't.

As always, though, I get the most searches on book titles. I'm heartened by the continuing interest in The Best Democracy Money Can Buy (aside from the fool searching for a Cliff Notes version, of course) and interested to see that A Cook's Tour invariably tops the list of books my site pulls a hit for. It's a fascinating book. Fascinating.

And now...brace yourself. This actually showed up in my "search keyphrases" list:

man i must be a real idiot! even studying i m failing french class! well i needed to pass the class to stay on my football scholarship so there was only one thing to do suck it up and take mrs. vogue up on her offer for some weekend tutoring. had no idea how this was going to work but when i got a look at her cleavage and her sexy legs i knew i was acing this final exam!

Boggles the mind.

Posted by AnneZook at 02:27 PM


Comments

Here are some of mine courtesy of eXTReMe:

"picture of cynthia moothart" whoever she is

"watch free soccer films on the web" - where?

"right, lesbians. Hardcore fisting-fetishist dykes. From San Francisco" - maybe this was part of Mark Morford's article that I quoted?

Also one for "shizzle" and one for "shizzle Yiddish." :)

Posted by: Elayne Riggs at March 7, 2004 10:35 AM

There's just no explaining some searches. :)

Posted by: Anne at March 8, 2004 10:40 AM

OK, there does seem to be a "Multiple Personality Day" but I can't find any information on who declared it. That bothers me. People who experience multiple personality disorders don't exactly celebrate that fact, and Mental Health Week is April-May, not March......

Posted by: Jonathan Dresner at March 10, 2004 08:22 PM

It's hard to say, Jonathan. On the internet, anyone can "declare" any day as special.

It could be one of those "awareness" campaigns. "Be aware of the problems of schizophrenics."

Or someone's idea of a joke.

Posted by: Anne at March 11, 2004 04:35 PM