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July 29, 2005
"Pretend you care."

I think it's heart-breaking society is so warped that some people are desperately trying to change their basic natures.

And I think it's pathetic that telling a gay man that if he puts down his newspaper and makes eye contact with his wife, it will help ex-gay him. (I'm also offended, as one of the millions of people in the world who think that you talking at me while I'm trying to read is very rude on your part.)

And the misogyny in that "pretend you care" line just screams at you from the page, doesn't it?

I also note that lesbians seem to be a kind of second-class homosexual. Apparently hot girl-on-girl sex isn't as dangerous for society as hot boy-on-boy action. (Sorry, gals. Without a penis, you just don't rate.)

Other than that...the mind boggles.

Frank Worthen said men need to become “hard and masculine” in order to be able to enjoy the soft, mushy feel of a woman. In order to become firmer it is all right for a man to work out a little bit, he said, just don’t work out too much.

Mushy? On behalf of non-oatmeal women everywhere, hey!

But on behalf of het women everywhere, let me say I get behind the idea of all of those insufficiently "hard" men getting "hard" on my account. (Okay, now I'm just being vulgar.)

I also note that they say you might plan to wait as long as a year before your ex-gay hubby is ready to have some icky het sex.

Personally, not to be offensive or anything, as far as I'm concerned he can wait a decade if he wants to. I can't imagine wanting to have sex with a gay man. I can think of few less romantic (or erotic) situations than getting horizontal (or vertical, your choice) with a man for whom my body is a turn-off.

I mock because I'm obsessing.

Today is the day Zach is supposed to be released.

I know it's unreasonable to think his parents will let him use the internet today, or probably in the immediate future, but I really want to know how he's doing.

And if his parents took this time, after they saw the public shit-storm over their actions, to consider whether or not they might be taking the wrong tack. I don't think they did. Based on what I've read in Zach's blog and the interview with his father, they're too set in their religion and too defensive to back down.

Sigh. I'd like to believe they think they're doing what's best, that they made a calm and rational decision to take this step, but Zach's journal entry about his mother "saying the worst things to me for three days straight" until he was considering suicide, even briefly, makes it very difficult for me to believe that.


Update: I should have linked to this story about debunking "ex-gay" programs.

And Andrew Tobias copies us an interesting article on gay marriage.

I have only this advice to offer those of you who oppose gay marriage: Don't marry a homosexual.


Posted by AnneZook at 07:41 AM


Actually, some gay men don't find women a total turnoff -- they just don't have the heat that guys induce.

You know, like the difference between being interested vs being obsessed.

Posted by: Scorpio at July 30, 2005 04:32 PM

Well, yes, I know, but still.

I have to assume that any self-respecting human being would object to knowing their partner was being counseled to "put down the paper and pretend to care" as a major coping mechanism for life, you know?

Posted by: Anne at August 1, 2005 03:46 PM

"in order to be able to enjoy the soft, mushy feel of a woman"

Oh yes, that is how I like my women. When I'm out on a date I don't look to see if a woman is pretty, or smart, or flirtacious, or darling, no, what I'm checking out is how mushy they are.

Omigod. That is the funniest thing I've read in a month. Thank you, Anne. I really needed that.

Posted by: Lawrence Krubner at August 5, 2005 11:15 PM