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All content © 2002-2005 Anne Zook

May 05, 2011
Gotta share the funny

The infamous Blackwater corporation (now alias Xe and whatthehell is that when it's at home?), frequently under fire (bad pun) from allegations of drug use, theft, murder, and general misdoing is gettin' itself some ethics.

It's hired John "there's ho's and homo's everywhere!" Ashcroft as it's ethics chief--although the exact euphemism they're using is "subcommittee on governance."

Ashcroft. The man qualified for nothing and appointed to everything. Sheesh.

From Wikipedia:

Political career

In 1972, Ashcroft ran for a Congressional seat in southwest Missouri, narrowly losing the Republican primary to Gene Taylor. After the primary, Missouri Governor Christopher Bond appointed Ashcroft to be state auditor, the office Bond had left when he became governor.

In 1974, Ashcroft was narrowly defeated for election to that post by Jackson County County Executive George W. Lehr, who argued that Ashcroft, who is not an accountant, was unqualified to be the state auditor. Jack Danforth, who was then in his second term as state attorney general, hired. Ashcroft as an assistant Missouri attorney general.

To be fair, he eventually did win an election or two--to be Missouri's Attorney General and then governor and then a senator (until he was edged out by a corpse).

And to be even more fair he did fight crime and boost Missouri's economy. He boosted jobs by increasing the number of law enforcement agencies and keeping companies busy constructing more jails to accommodate the unusually long prison sentences handed out to Missouri's lawbreakers, especially the underage ones.

Obviously I'm cherry-picking his less-attractive initiatives but it wasn't hard to find them.

He's a little bit crazy.

After September 11, 2001, Ashcroft was generally credited as 'architect' of the PATRIOT Act, which established several short cuts to circumvent such traditional and constitutional safeguards as search warrants and judicial oversight of police. Ashcroft authorized secret arrests and detentions, expanded wiretapping, blocked Freedom of Information Act requests, OK'd eavesdropping on defense lawyers and infiltration of political protest groups. He tried to organize a nationwide "tips" line for mail carriers, home repairmen, delivery drivers and others whose occupations bring them in contact with the general public to report suspicious activity. For all this effort, however, Ashcroft had surprisingly few successful prosecutions against terrorists, and the Justice Dept was caught several times playing "shell games" with the numbers. For example, crimes such as writing bad checks or protesters trespassing on a Navy base were listed as "terror convictions", despite having no cited connection to any acts of terrorism.

Possibly a lot crazy:

He has said he was anointed with oil "in the manner of King David" as he took each successive political office in his career. When he became a Senator his father anointed him with Crisco brand cooking oil, and died the next day. Before becoming Attorney General, Ashcroft had Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas do the anointing.

John Ashcroft and the Blackwater Corporation (alias Xe) deserve each other.

Posted by AnneZook at 01:47 PM


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